“Fuck you!” – that’s the latest message I received from a troll online. Because they’re offended by my opinion that has nothing to do with them.
Trolls aren’t anything new in the 21st century. And they don’t only exist online, trolls are offline as well.
They’ve been around before the internet existed. The only difference is it came in the form of letters, spreading rumours, gossiping behind your back, and “hate mail”.
But now you can type some bullshit into a keyboard and bully people all day to make yourself feel better about your existence.
At least you can attempt to do that.
Life lessons from trolls
So why the hate? Why do trolls go out of their way to make you feel like shit and ruin your day? And what life lessons can trolls actually teach you?
Is that even a thing?
Here’s what I’ve learned. Facts that are unlikely to change (since humans don’t change much, fundamentally).
1. It’s easy to give up on yourself
Back when I made music as a hobby, I had “trolls” tell me I’ll never get on the radio because I’m worthless and my music is shit.
The funny thing is I DID end up on the radio. Which is ironic in itself.
Back in school, I had a fat teacher, who was easily over 20 stone, tell me I had no future and I’ll be nothing more than a “garbage” man.
This man was an art teacher who’d clearly given up on his own goals and dreams of becoming something.
His angry demeanour proved it.
Trolls and negative people who do whatever it takes to bring you down have given up on their own ambitions. Because it’s easy to.
And that’s why you’ve got to do the opposite and never give up on yourself. That’s what true happiness is about.
No one in their right mind who hasn’t given up is wasting their energy trolling, putting others down online (or offline), and doing everything in their power to make the other person miserable.
That’s just not how the world works.
2. Bored people become stupid people
The stupidest things I’ve ever done happened because I was bored. Like climbing on rooftops as a kid, and being interrogated by the police because of it (they warned me beforehand).
When you’re bored, you end up doing things you never planned on. Like taking drugs, smoking crack, getting drunk or venting your negative feelings online.
Boredom is the devil.
And it leads trolls to say some of the stupidest things on the internet because reality is too horrid for them to face alone.
It’s an escape.
And people like you and me are “targets” for them to let out their frustrations and problems.
Sometimes to the detriment of the person who’s being abused. And especially to the detriment of the trolls themselves.
3. You become a loser by choice
“Nobody likes a sore loser.” – Unknown
Being a loser is more than “losing” in a competitive sense. There’s more to it than that.
When you’re a loser in life, it’s because you chose to behave and act like a loser by treating people like shit. And treating yourself less than shit.
Trolls say some of the most disrespectful things I’ve seen. I’ve had people even bring my family into it, or try belittling me to justify their insecurities.
This is what it means to be a loser.
You become a loser by choice, there’s nothing inherent about it. And that’s why the opposite is true: you can become a winner by choice, too.
4. Self-esteem can be a bitch
Everything in life centres around your self-esteem.
It’s the one thing that guarantees how you’ll feel about your life, yourself, and how you’ll behave in the world around you.
The same is true for how you react and deal with life’s challenges and obstacles. Trolls are the epitome of “self esteem is a bitch” because they don’t have any.
If they did – they wouldn’t waste their energy telling me I’m a black **** or how I should live my life.
Or why I’m wrong and should “keep my mouth shut” and whatever else. According to their broken mentality.
On the flip side – self-esteem is a blessing if you avoid drowning in negativity and making pitiful excuses.
It’s a matter of choice.
5. Desperately trying to be “right” usually means you’re wrong
I’ve argued with so many trolls in the past that I’d punch my old self If I could. It’s a waste of time. It’s not like I can show up to their address and deal with them directly.
Trolls know this. That’s why they get disrespectful behind the keyboard.
There’s always that “one” person who goes out of their way to prove how right they are. Even to the point of arguing about something irrelevant or off-topic.
But the thing is – this desperation in trying to be right is proof you’re not. Because it comes from a place of fear and insecurity.
I have no problem being wrong.
That gets me excited because it means I have the opportunity to learn. And that’s what real self-esteem is all about.
6. Attention-seeking won’t solve your problems
There’s always that troll who will say something out of context or pointless to get your attention. Like bringing your family into it and insulting them.
Or being racist because of the kind of reaction it provokes.
But the sad fact is – childish attempts to get people’s attention won’t fix your problems.
That’s why trolls, like drug addicts, don’t stop doing it because if they do, the “high” will die down. And reality will Mike-Tyson punch them in the fucking face.
It’s easier to run away from your problems than to be a man (or a woman) and face them head-on.
7. People are like mirrors
“People are mirrors. If you smile, a smile will be reflected.” – Zeno
If I punch you in the face, there’s a good chance you’ll return the favour…. 10X. And I’d deserve it.
Here’s another thing: If a troll goes out of their way to make you feel like shit, they must feel like shit themselves.
People are mirrors, after all. What you “project” on the outside is a reflection of who you are and how you feel, deep down. But just because a troll is an asshole doesn’t mean you have to be.
Kill them with success and a killer smile, and that’ll reflect on your own feelings and self-esteem.
Plus it feels better that way.
Not to say that’s always or is the only approach to dealing with it.