There’s A Fine Line Between Self Confidence Vs Arrogance

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Hitler believed if you were blonde with blue eyes, you were superior to everybody else. And that’s despite the fact that he himself wasn’t blonde with blue eyes.

War is bullshit. But had it not been for this BS we call war, I’d probably be dead by now, or not even born. Since my mum and family would have been shot to death or worse.

Or if I were alive, I’d be threatened into kissing the feet of some arrogant asshole with a noose around my neck. With freedom out of reach, and a skinny chance of ever holding it in the palm of my hands.

I’m fucking glad that’s not the case. Because I’m too rebellious to tolerate that lifestyle.


There’s a fine line between self confidence and arrogance

white Converse All-Star low-tops

It’s easy to confuse arrogance with self confidence. Especially when your own self confidence is wavering. And you don’t believe in yourself.

From this point of view, it’s easy to confuse another person’s high confidence for blatant arrogance. Certain rappers are prime examples of this.

There’s a big difference between the two definitions though.

Hitler is what you’d call arrogant. He’d spit on you if you were anything but blonde with blue eyes. Treating you no better than a cockroach or an ant under his shoes.

Self confidence on the other hand works differently.

True confidence doesn’t hurt or harm others. Confidence doesn’t come from a negative, dark place.

Self Confidence comes from optimism. Positivity. Courage. And an uplifting perspective.

Let’s talk about the differences between self confidence and arrogance in more detail…


The differences between self confidence and arrogance:


#1 – How you treat other people

One of the biggest tell-tale signs of arrogance is how you treat everyone around you.

The best example I can give is homeless people.

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When I’m out in the town, regardless of how far I travel, the average person treats homeless people like they’re worse than dog shit.

Even to the point of turning up their nose as if they’re any richer or better than the homeless guy who’s starving to death.

This is arrogance at its best.

Instead of lifting up those who are down, you kick them down even further until they fall into a dark ditch where nobody will see them.

Real self-confidence isn’t like that.

If you’re confident in yourself you have no reason to kick someone down to lift yourself up or turn your back on those you’re able to help. Even if it’s just by talking, listening and encouraging others through your words.

How you treat everyone around you (compared to how you treat yourself) is a blatant sign of arrogance and insecurity, which has nothing to do with self-confidence.

Real confidence comes from a good place and a higher level of thinking.


#2 – How you perceive people from different racial backgrounds and cultures

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This is a fact 100% of bloggers, authors and coaches won’t tell you online.

How you perceive people, based on their skin colour and racial background says a lot about how arrogant you are. Which is slang for having little to no confidence in yourself.

I’ve met people who’ve thought of me as nothing more than a fucking N****.

The joke is you have racists who look down on other races, even though they both live in the same neighbourhoods, eat similar food, work similar jobs, make similar amounts of money, have similar opportunities and complain about similar things.

What’s the difference? Attitude. That’s the difference between someone who looks down on you because of the colour of your skin, vs someone who doesn’t.

Real confidence doesn’t need to belittle, judge without context, or disrespect others for something they can’t change.

Only arrogance is capable of that


#3 – How selfish vs selfless you are

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Arrogant people are some of the most selfish. Always thinking of themselves, and shunning everyone else. Especially if they’re considered a threat.

Arrogance is always about how you feel. Or how important you are compared to others.

Arrogance cares about nothing more than prospering at the expense of hurting somebody else to get what you want.

Once arrogance takes over, you obsessively try to make yourself feel better by shitting on everyone else’s successes, goals, ambitions, personality, or whatever you feel isn’t worth praising… In comparison to yourself.

When you’re confident, you don’t need to piss on others. Because you’re confident you’ll do well anyway. And that’s proven by how giving, generous, encouraging and inspiring you are to everyone around you.

Real self-confidence doesn’t need to compare or destroy others.

Going out of your way to help others is proof you have confidence in your ability to help yourself, simultaneously. Or else you wouldn’t bother at all. 

Read: Fear Of Negative Criticism: 6 Questions To Ask


4. The types of words you use, and the things you say

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” ― Rudyard Kipling

Have you ever met someone who says things like:

  • I’m more IMPORTANT than he or she is.
  • I’m ENTITLED to have the things I want (no you’re not).

In 2022 and beyond, entitlement is at an all-time high.

You have people walking around blowing smoke up their asses, believing they’re entitled to success. Because they managed to get an A* grade in school. Or because they have a degree earned through “hard work” in university.

Or what about people who expect others to do everything for them, and even look down on the same people who do things for them?


One of the best examples of arrogance is how people treat cleaners.

woman in green and yellow jacket holding black and brown stick standing beside red trash bin

Cleaners are some of the most modest, thoughtful and respectable people I know. But the everyday person doesn’t see it that way.

If you’re in a MC Donalds and there’s a cleaner mopping up the floor, most people won’t even acknowledge them or say hello.

And at worst, they’ll look down and pity them. As if they are worth any more than the cleaner is, or any better off financially.

I’ve seen the same thing play out in all kinds of environments. Town centres, food halls, supermarkets, it’s all the same.

The same thing happens when a “book smart” graduate who’s in so much debt they could drink it, meets the world outside of university. Only to be slapped in the face with reality when they realize they’re not more worthy than others or any more entitled.


Make no mistake, this is arrogance in full HD

black flat screen tv turned on displaying man in black suit

Arrogance is defined as:

an offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

Arrogance is sometimes dressed up in confident clothing, but once the clothing comes off the truth is revealed.

The truth is: arrogance is just another way of covering up your insecurities.

Confidence on the other hand is able to admit and accept insecurities. And push forward regardless of it to become a better version of yourself.


And let’s not forget: confident people say different things than arrogant people because they feel different in comparison. And use different words to express those feelings.

That’s the difference between confidence vs arrogance, and why it’s a fine line that can confuse a lot of people if they misunderstand the context.

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Michael Bonnell

Great article. Definitely subscribing

Theo J Ellis

Thanks Michael!

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