How To Remain Confident When Dealing With Racism

I’ve dealt with racism since I was 4-5 years old. Sometimes from so-called “friends”. A lot of times from strangers. Many times for no reason other than the color of my skin. And a lot of the time for no fault of my own.

Did it affect my self confidence growing up? I don’t know for sure, maybe it did. That being said, I didn’t have much confidence to begin with. For many different reasons.

So the question is…

How do you remain confident when dealing with racism?

How can you remain confident when others make you feel like LESS than you are in the society you’re living in?

These are the questions I’ll be answering in this post. Taken from my own ongoing experiences.

How To Remain Confident When Dealing With Racism


1. Realize you’re not the problem

It says more about them than it does about you. – Unknown

People who are unloved hate others. People who were raised by racist parents don’t know any better.

People who watch too much TV and form racist opinions about you are brainwashed. And people who mistreat or look down on you because of your race are misguided and delusional.

The problem isn’t the color of your skin. The problem isn’t your background, upbringing, or the culture you come from.

The problem is the person who’s racist, and the people who raise and teach kids and teenagers to think like a racist.

So whenever you deal with racism, keep that in mind. No matter how illogical or nonsensical it seems.

If you do, your self confidence will stay in tact. And you won’t attach your self confidence to the color of your skin, culture, background or race.


2. Choose your beliefs wisely

Belief is a funny thing. If you truly believe something is true, you’ll end up living out your life in a way that reflects those beliefs. Even If those beliefs are dangerous, foolish, false and untrue.

Think of a child who’s convinced Santa Claus is real. In his mind, Santa is real and Santa is the reason there’s so many presents by the Christmas tree on Christmas day.

The same is true for your beliefs around racism. Racists will have you believe you’re unworthy, scum, inferior and incapable.

If you believe that, you’ll end up living out a life that reflects those beliefs. Just as the kid who believes in Santa will live life believing Santa will bring him presents on Christmas day.

Everything in life is about making a decision. So choose your beliefs wisely and you won’t lose your self confidence or self esteem.

And If you do believe what racists have told you, assume everything they’ve told you is wrong. Because it really is.

Related Post: 10 Dangerous Beliefs That Are Keeping You Unhappy


3. Give your environment a make over

You’re a product of your environment, surround yourself with the best. – Unknown

What If you’re surrounded by racists, and you don’t even know it? What If you’re not aware of it?

Sometimes it’s subtle, but the friends you hang around are not only holding you back, but are racists.

All you’ve got to do is look at their habits, their actions, and the way they treat you. And look at the types of things they say, and the jokes or references they make.

Your environment influences you everyday, and either the people you hang around with, or the people within your environment have influenced you in one negative way or another. And that’s why your self confidence is suffering.

Change your environment, get rid of the people around you, and add new, more positive people into your life. And watch what it does to your self confidence and self esteem.

This won’t be easy, but it’s more than worth it.

Related Post: How To Become More Confident While Talking To People


4. Walk away

Revenge is not in my plans. You’ll fuck yourself on your own. – Unknown

When I say walk away, I mean when dealing with racism in person. Whether it’s in a social situation and strangers hurl racial abuse, or something related.

It’s not possible to walk away from all these situations, I understand that. But when you can, go ahead and do it.

This doesn’t just go for social situations, it goes for dealing with racism online as well. Or any other situation you’re able to ignore and walk away from.

You’re better than them, as they’ve already proven through their racist actions, so there’s no need to let it crush your confidence or make you feel less than you are. Walk away and keep your pride in tact.

Win through your actions, never through argument. – rOBERT gREENE, 48 lAWS OF POWER


5. Surround yourself with confident people

You are what you’re around. If you’re around confident people, it’ll rub off on you eventually. And in this case, that can only be a good thing.

Confident people care less about what people think of them. They do the things they believe in. And more importantly, they don’t let racism define who they are. Those are the types of people you want to surround yourself with.

People who don’t attach their self esteem to racist comments that are intended to make them feel like trash.

People who are so high above all of that negativity, that they’d never lower themselves to those standards.

How do you surround yourself with confident people?

You get to know them. Just like you would with any other type of friend. And even if you don’t surround yourself with confident people physically, you can do it virtually. Or you can learn from them online through books, blogs, videos, music and whatever else.

The more you learn from how they operate regardless of racism, the easier it’ll be for you to apply it to your own life. And boost your own confidence and self esteem in the long run.


If there’s something else I can help with, or you have a question, let me know. 🙂

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Theo J Ellis

I share my experiences and document my journey. My motto is: Just Be Real, because when you be yourself without fear of criticism, it gives you a sense of freedom and happiness that can't be taken away from you.

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