Raise Your Standards: How To Stop Kissing Ass To Build Your Confidence

“Life Is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, bursting it, or trying to get a piece of it.” – Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be laughing it off than kissing it.

Kissing too much ass and sucking up to people can only do so much for you.

And I’m not talking about kissing ass in professional situations. I’m talking about kissing ass in ANY situation.

I don’t believe you have to kiss anybody’s ass just to get paid, make progress, further your career or have real friends who stick around.

I don’t believe you have to kiss ass to keep someone around, make a relationship work, satisfy your boss, or gain new customers.

And I don’t believe you have to kiss ass to get a raise, close deals, or be treated with respect.

Raise Your Standards: How To Stop Kissing Ass To Build Your Confidence

 

Matter fact, If you have to do that to get what you want, you’re degrading yourself. And you need to raise your standards.

Because kissing ass is almost like getting naked to get what you want. Which means you have no standards at all.

And from what I can see, not everybody who got what they wanted had to get naked. But that’s besides the point.

If kissing ass has done you more bad than good, here’s my take on how to raise your standards and kiss LESS ass than is necessary.

 

1. Stop Begging For Approval, You Don’t Need it

You only need your approval. Anyone else’s is just a bonus. – Unknown

A confident man or woman has no need to kiss ass for approval.

That’s not how you get respect from others, and it’s not the best way to go about it either.

You know why? Because when a man or a woman has self confidence, respect soon follows.

When was the last time you seen a confident person BEG for somebody else’s approval? Never…

 

Raise Your Standards

When you’re confident within yourself you’re automatically approved. There’s no need for all that fake shit that takes up too much energy and time.

Take a look at musicians like Snoop Dogg, Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson. They’re musicians that people admire and respect.

They’re confident, they never had to beg or plead for approval. They never had to kiss a lot of booty to be accepted in the eyes of society. And neither should you.

If you want to better your self confidence, realize that nobody else is gonna give it to you.

Not by kissing ass, and not by demanding other people’s approval.

It comes through realizing you DON’T need to do any of that. And being content with who you are.

Related Posts: – Top 5 Reasons To Be Yourself 

 

2. Grow Some Balls Of Steel

Raise Your Standards

Like these!

If kissing ass is your strategy for making friends or progress, you’re in for some deep shit. Because what happens If those people decide to grab a pair of scissors and cut you off?

What happens If there’s no more ass for you to kiss?

What will you do If they use your ass kissing to their advantage, then ditch you as If you’re unworthy?

Grow some balls. Grow some big ones. Balls of steel so big that clunk and clank as you walk, whether you’re a man or woman!

Live life like a warrior and take control. Don’t be at the mercy of others.

 

 

3. Stop Playing Follow The Leader

Just because everybody else feels they need to kiss ass, doesn’t mean you have to.

Stop playing follow the leader, or in this case, stop playing follow the ass kisser. You don’t have to kiss up to people because others are doing it.

They say Monkey see, monkey do. But you’re not a monkey, you’re a human being ;).

Stop doing that! Have a mind of your own.

 

4. Kiss your own ass

I’d rather kiss my own ass. At least I know where it’s been. – Unknown

Yeah, I know. Physically it’s not even possible to kiss your own ass, but that’s not what I mean.

What I mean is give yourself more attention, more focus, and more love instead of giving it to everybody else.

There’s nothing wrong with praising others, showing love, complimenting, supporting, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with ANY of that in the slightest, I recommend it. But when you’re doing it to the point where you feel OBLIGATED to do it, you’re at a loss. Because –

  1. You’ll end up pissing some people off.
  2. Some people will see it as FAKE, and inauthentic.
  3. You’ll wear yourself out.
  4. You’ll disregard your own needs.

So If you’re going to kiss any ass, kiss your own.

 

5. Gain Some Independence

People who tend to suck up to everybody are not only seen as needy, they ARE needy. And being too needy is dangerous.

That’s how you invite the wrong types of people to take advantage of you. And besides, when you’re too dependent upon others you lose power. Example –

  • Depending upon others for money.
  • Depending on others to feel loved.
  • Depending on others to feel happy.
  • Depending on your boss to give you a raise.
  • Depending on your parents to give you pocket money.
  • Depending on your partner to buy you clothes.
  • Depending on your friends to drive you to work.
  • Depending on the government to pay child support.

When you’re stuck in the mindset of kissing ass to get what you want, you become reliant.

And when things don’t go your way, you’ll complain, bitch, moan, and blame others. But it’s never nobody else’s fault, It’s YOUR fault.

We’ve all got to take responsibility, and striving to be independent of other people’s opinions is worth the effort.

 

So, in a nutshell –

  1. Stop begging for approval.
  2. Grow some balls of steel.
  3. Stop playing follow the leader.
  4. Kiss your own ass.
  5. Gain some independence.

And by the way, depending on someone and knowing you CAN depend on someone mean two different things.

Just thought I’d add that to finish up.

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Theo J Ellis

I share my experiences and document my journey. My motto is: Just Be Real, because when you be yourself without fear of criticism, it gives you a sense of freedom and happiness that can't be taken away from you.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Confidence helps, but no amount of confidence will get you promoted, if you don’t kiss your boss’s ass. All the musicians you cited are their own boss – they report to no one. It’s sad, but that’s the way the world works.

    • I get that. And I don’t doubt the points you made. I agree 100%.

      The point is to avoid kissing ass to the point of sacrificing your morals, ethics, self esteem and self respect in the process.

      You can have all that without feeling you need to do that. And if you sacrifice all of that, then there isn’t much left, or much happiness.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your time a lot!

  • Confidence helps, but no amount of confidence will get you promoted, if you don’t kiss your boss’s ass. All the musicians you cited are their own boss – they report to no one. It’s sad, but that’s the way the world works.

    • I get that. And I don’t doubt the points you made. I agree 100%.

      The point is to avoid kissing ass to the point of sacrificing your morals, ethics, self esteem and self respect in the process.

      You can have all that without feeling you need to do that. And if you sacrifice all of that, then there isn’t much left, or much happiness.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your time a lot!

  • You actually think Nicky Manage is a Musician???
    and you put her in the same sentence as Bob Marley and Jackson.
    I bet you don’t play a single instrument. And youre giving advice?
    I suppose Kanye is one of your favorite musical geniuses too.
    Dude, go back to playing Guitar Hero. Loser.

  • I was abused as a child and kissed people’s asses for acceptance. I didn’t know I was doing it due to low self esteem and fear others would abuse me as my father did. I learned what you are saying. I learned to treat others the way I want to be treated, not kissing ass. I learned to grow a pair and stick up for myself in a nice way. Your advice is exactly right. Kiss your own ass and love yourself. Others don’t appreciate an ass kisser, instead they appreciate someone who treats them well. Being good to others makes me feel good. If I feel good about myself treating others well, that’s all that matters. It leads to a good life.

  • I have just reached a point in my life where this really hit home! I don’t agree with some of your points but all in all it was a really good read and for me personally I needed it! So thank you 🤗

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