I decided to work on a project with a mastermind partner of mine from Germany.
That was a few years ago. But then I decided to cut my involvement in the project.
I got honest with myself and realized I wasn’t as passionate about it as I thought I was.
That passion and interest started to dwindle overtime. So I went ahead and told him what I’m now telling you.
“I’m not feeling it, so I’ve decided to drop it”.
It’s hard “not” to feel like an asshole after putting effort into something for a while, only to drop a truth bomb and abandon it.
Telling the truth and being honest with others can be like that. More so when it involves something the other person cares about.
But as sharp as the truth is, it’s one of the most freeing things you can experience.
How To Tell The Truth Without Feeling Like An Asshole:
1. Don’t waste your time thinking about it
When it comes to telling the truth and being honest, time is precious.
The more time you spend thinking about “breaking the news”, the worse it gets and the worse you’ll feel.
The difference between telling the truth today vs telling the truth 5 years later is brutal. Depending on the size and impact of the truth you’re hesitating to share.
But the end result is always worse the more time drags on.
This applies to:
- Your kids.
And every other aspect of life.
2. Realize you’re not being an asshole
Even though you might be afraid of telling the truth. Or you may feel like an asshole for doing it, you’re not an asshole.
But you have to wrap your head around it to realize it. Telling the truth is one of the best ways to be nice to others. As ridiculous as that sounds.
Which one of these scenarios is worse?
- Leading a girl/guy on and then telling them you’re not interested?
- Or telling them straight up you’re not interested from the beginning?
Stretching the truth for longer periods of time makes you a fucking asshole. And you’d deserve to feel like an asshole for doing so.
As harsh as that sounds.
But telling the truth as fast as possible and getting it over with makes you generous. Even If it doesn’t feel generous when you’re speaking the truth.
That’s just the way it works!
3. Don’t “sweeten” the truth
The internet is full of sugar-coated BS. Especially in the “self-help” field. But back to the point.
If you sugar coat the truth you’ll only dig yourself a deeper shit-hole. The more you sugar coat the truth, the shittier you’re gonna to feel and the deeper whole you’re gonna dig yourself.
So If you’ve cheated in a relationship, don’t BS and say “I kind of made a mistake”. Come out with the full truth and say “I slept with your best friend in his/her apartment last night”.
If you kissed your best friends EX, don’t say – “he/she came onto me”. That’s BS.
Tell the story and nothing but the whole story. That’s what I mean by not sugar-coating the truth.
It’s the worst thing you could ever do to anybody. Especially those you care about. And the feeling that comes with it, isn’t worth it.
4. Stop acting like you’re the victim
You know those stories you tell yourself before breaking the big bad news to someone? Those stories about how you’re so terrible, bad, etc, etc?
And your brain tries to trick you into believing you’re the victim? Well that’s BS. At least to an extent.
The real victim is the person you’ve yet to speak the truth to. They’re the ones who will suffer. Whether it be short-lived or not.
They’re the ones you’re dumping the truth on at the end of the day. And once it’s off your shoulders, it’s for them to carry on their shoulders.
And what they do with that weight is their choice to make exclusively. Because you’re no longer carrying that weight. Realize you’re not the victim, and commit to understanding that.
5. Speak the truth more often
The only reason to feel so bad when speaking the truth is because you don’t do enough of it.
If you don’t do it enough, then you’re bound to feel terrible most the time. So the simple solution is – get in the habit of speaking the truth more often.
Practice being honest more often. Practice sharing the truth when it needs to be shared.
Practice being straightforward and letting it out as soon as possible.
Remember what I said earlier. The more time drags on, the worse the outcome will be. So do it more often and quicker than usual.
6. Be in the right mind-frame
Imagine spilling the truth after you’ve had a heated argument. Or right after a bad experience.
You won’t be in the right frame of mind, and your message will be perceived in the wrong light.
So to show your respect to the other person, speak your truth when you’re in the right frame of mind. Because once the truth leaks out on a bad note, you can’t take it back.
And then you really will feel like an asshole, wishing you took the time to “think” before opening your big mouth.