Raise Your Standards: How To Stop Kissing Ass To Build Your Confidence

How To Stop Kissing Ass

“Life Is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, bursting it, or trying to get a piece of it.” – Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be laughing it off than kissing it.

Kissing too much ass and sucking up to people can only do so much for you.

And I’m not talking about kissing ass in professional situations. I’m talking about kissing ass in ANY situation.

I don’t believe you have to kiss anybody’s ass just to get paid, make progress, further your career or have real friends who stick around.

I don’t believe you have to kiss ass to keep someone around, make a relationship work, satisfy your boss, or gain new customers.

And I don’t believe you have to kiss ass to get a raise, close deals, or be treated with respect.

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In fact, If you have to do that to get what you want, you’re degrading yourself. And you need to raise your standards.

Because kissing ass is almost like getting naked to get what you want. Which means you have no standards at all.

And from what I can see, not everybody who got what they wanted had to get naked. But that’s besides the point.

If kissing ass has done you more bad than good, here’s my take on how to raise your standards and kiss LESS ass than you need to.


1. Stop Begging For Approval, You Don’t Need it

You only need your approval. Anyone else’s is just a bonus. – Unknown

A confident man or woman has no need to kiss ass for approval.

That’s not how you get respect from others, and it’s not the best way to go about it either.

You know why? Because when a man or a woman has self-confidence, respect soon follows.

When was the last time you saw a confident person BEG for somebody else’s approval? Never…


Raise Your Standards

When you’re confident you can approve of yourself.

There’s no need for all that fake shit that takes up too much energy and time.

Take a look at musicians like Snoop Dogg, Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson. They’re musicians that people admire and respect.

They’re confident, they never had to beg or plead for approval.

They never had to kiss a lot of booty to be accepted in the eyes of society. And neither should you.

If you want to improve your self-confidence, realize that nobody else is gonna give it to you.

Not by kissing ass, and not by demanding other people’s approval.

It comes through realizing you DON’T need to do any of that. And being content with who you are.


2. Grow Some Balls Of Steel

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If kissing ass is your strategy for making friends or progress, you’re in for some deep shit. Because what happens If those people decide to grab a pair of scissors and cut you off?

What happens If there’s no more ass for you to kiss?

What will you do If they use your ass-kissing to their advantage, then ditch you as If you’re unworthy?

Grow some balls. Grow some big ones. Balls of steel so big they clunk and clank as you walk, whether you’re a man or woman.

Live life like a warrior and take control. Don’t be at the mercy of others.


3. Stop Playing Follow The Leader

Just because everybody else feels they need to kiss ass, doesn’t mean you have to.

Stop playing follow the leader, or in this case, stop playing follow the ass kisser.

You don’t have to kiss up to people because others are doing it.

They say Monkey see, monkey do. But you’re not a monkey, you’re a human being.

Stop doing that! Have a mind of your own.


4. Kiss your own ass

I’d rather kiss my own ass. At least I know where it’s been. – Unknown

Yeah, I know. Physically it’s not even possible to kiss your own ass, but that’s not what I mean.

What I mean is give yourself more attention, more focus, and more love instead of giving it to everybody else.

There’s nothing wrong with praising others, showing love, complimenting, supporting, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with ANY of that in the slightest, I recommend it.

But when you’re doing it to the point where you feel OBLIGATED to do it, you’re at a loss.

Because –

  1. You’ll end up pissing some people off.
  2. Some people will see it as FAKE, and inauthentic.
  3. You’ll wear yourself out.
  4. You’ll disregard your own needs.

So If you’re going to kiss any ass, kiss your own.


5. Gain Some Independence

People who tend to suck up to everybody are not only seen as needy, they ARE needy. And being too needy is dangerous.

That’s how you invite the wrong types of people to take advantage of you.

And besides, when you’re too dependent upon others you lose power.

Example –

  • Depending upon others for money.
  • Depending on others to feel loved.
  • Depending on others to feel happy.
  • Depending on your boss to give you a raise.
  • Depending on your parents to give you pocket-money.
  • Depending on your partner to buy you clothes.
  • Depending on your friends to drive you to work.
  • Depending on the government to pay child support.

When you’re stuck in the mindset of kissing ass to get what you want, you become reliant.

And when things don’t go your way, you’ll complain, bitch, moan, and blame others. But it’s never nobody else’s fault, It’s YOUR fault.

We’ve all got to take responsibility, and striving to be independent of other people’s opinions is worth the effort.


So, in a nutshell:

  1. Stop begging for approval.
  2. Grow some balls of steel.
  3. Stop playing follow the leader.
  4. Kiss your own ass.
  5. Be independent of other people’s opinions.

And by the way, depending on someone and knowing you can depend on someone means two different things.

Just thought I’d finish with that.

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