How To Develop Self Confidence When You Have Nothing To Be Confident About

“Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.” ― Marcus Aurelius

More than 90% of girls aged 15 – 17 want to change an aspect of their physical appearance.

And from my experience, the average person believes they have no talent, skills or abilities.

That’s why many of us have little self-confidence.

And therefore, feel we have nothing to be confident about.

When I was a teenager I also believed I had nothing to be confident about.

After all, I had as much confidence as the public has in a bullshit politician. Or the government.

So what do you do to build self-confidence when you have nothing to be confident about? Let’s answer that question, shall we?

How To Develop Your Self Confidence.


1. Write down a list of your achievements

If you’re a human being and you’re on planet earth, you’ve achieved something. No matter how big or small the achievement was.

And no matter how old or young you are.

It doesn’t matter if few people have acknowledged it publicly. It only matters that you’ve achieved it and nothing more. Acknowledgement makes a difference.

Write down a list of the things you’ve achieved on paper or in a notepad app like Evernote. Here’s some examples.

  1. Getting decent or above average grades in your class.
  2. Writing a great blog post that solves a problem.
  3. Publishing your first book or novel.
  4. Drawing a good picture.
  5. Cutting down on your sugar intake.
  6. Eating less junk food.
  7. Exercising.
  8. Completing a task.
  9. Making some laugh.
  10. Being praised for your work.
  11. Raising money for a charity.
  12. Sticking to your schedule.

There’s a countless amount of  potential achievements I could add to that list.

Not all achievements are attached to money or “success” in general terms.

Appreciate and acknowledge ALL of your achievements. Size doesn’t matter, it’s the attitude and acknowledgement that matters most.


2. Do something you’re good at

Everybody’s good at something. Some are good at

  • Boxing.
  • Singing.
  • Beat-boxing.
  • Writing.
  • Drawing.
  • Empathizing.
  • Bring people together.
  • Communication.
  • Making people laugh.
  • Excelling at certain types of video games.
  • Marketing themselves.

And so on. If you’re unsure of what you’re good at, then look at your habits, what you love to do or what you do often. Also look at the things people tend to praise and compliment you for.

  1. Is it beating the competition in a game of monopoly?
  2. Is it cooking tasty Chinese dishes?
  3. Is it networking with people you’ve never met?
  4. Is it speaking in front of a camera?

Only you know the answer. Find that answer and put 100% of your energy and focus into it. Your self-confidence will grow because of it.


3. Stop focusing on your weaknesses

Your weaknesses are things you’re NOT naturally good at. Things that have NO potential for growth. And things that will never develop into anything great.

Think of someone like Tiger Woods. Can you imagine him being as great of a singer as Beyonce? Not everybody’s cut out to do certain things.

So take all your focus away from the areas you’re weak in, and shift that focus onto your strengths. Strengths build self-confidence, not the other way around.

Related Post: 3 Reasons To Stop Giving A F About Your Weaknesses


4. Stop focusing on your flaws

Nobody’s perfect. But everybody’s imperfect. And that’s OK. That’s cool.

I’m flawed in the sense that I’m no good at being ordered around and being told what to do.

I’m independent and have no problem acting on my own initiative.

As well as getting shit done without any need to be motivated by others beforehand.

I’m also no good at keeping my opinions to myself. Meaning I’m expressive, love to share my opinions and speak my mind.

That’s a flaw for me but also a strength depending on the context of the situation.

Focus on your strengths, your flaws have no room for improvement.


5. Try new things

Treat life like a scientist or a child. Experiment with everything.

  • Try new things out.
  • Try new ideas you’ve come up with.
  • Try learning something new.
  • Try writing a different topic.
  • Try a new career.
  • Try a new hobby.
  • Try building new habits.

The good thing about trying new things is the more you experiment, the faster you’ll come across things you love.

And more importantly, the faster you’ll come across the things you’re great at doing. And find extremely fulfilling.

So be that 10 year old child and experiment in different areas of your life.

It’ll make you realize what it is you’re capable of doing. And you’ll start to acknowledge and learn more about yourself.

This builds up your self-confidence overtime.


To summarize this post:

  1. Write down a list of achievements.
  2. Do something you’re good at.
  3. Stop focusing on your weaknesses.
  4. Stop focusing on your flaws.
  5. Try new things.

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Theo J Ellis

I share my experiences and document my journey. My motto is: Just Be Real, because when you be yourself without fear of criticism, it gives you a sense of freedom and happiness that can't be taken away from you.

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