Building up your self confidence doesn’t happen overnight. Like a new born baby, it needs to be nurtured and grown for it to make a substantial amount of progress.
Confidence building works the same way.
Back in October I answered the same question on the Q & A platform – Quora. I know my answer was helpful there so I’m sharing it here so you can benefit from it through my blog.
Here’s how you can build core confidence in 5 simple steps.
1. Acknowledging your accomplishments
By not recognizing your accomplishments, you’re blind to your capabilities and talents. The same way a blind man would be blind to oncoming traffic in the middle of a busy road.
I don’t care how small or big your accomplishments are, because size doesn’t matter.
All that matters is you take the time to write down your accomplishments 1 by 1. Whether they were in the past, present, small or huge.
Do this often enough and you’ll be consciously aware of what you’re capable of, how great you are and how worthy you are as a human being.
So be proud and take pride in the things you do. Your self confidence will thank you for it!
2. Accept your flaws, it’s a necessity
You know why bullying works? And why the victim becomes a victim? Because they’re unable to accept their flaws that the bully will point out.
Trolls on the internet work in the same way. They’ll point out your flaws without any hesitation.
So what do you do? You accept your flaws, every single one of them. No matter how shitty or uncomfortable you feel about it.
We all have flaws, and I’m no exception. My confidence grew the moment I decided to accept my flaws instead of victimizing myself.
Flaws make you human because no human being is perfect. So accept that, accept your flaws and nobody will be able to hurt you or bruise your self confidence.
3. Learn to trust yourself
Trusting yourself builds self confidence.
Think about your best friend, partner or closest family member. Your confident you can trust them and that’s why you feel comfortable telling them your problems, right?
Well it works the same way for you. By trusting your own actions, decisions, promises and so on, you’ll become more independent and less dependent of others.
There’s power in that, and that power is what raises your self confidence and pushes you to do things by yourself.
So practice trusting yourself more often!
4. Practice relentlessly. Non stop!
I started recording periscope streams this year in June.
I’ve never done live streaming before in front of an audience, regardless of size. Nor have I spoke live before and had to therefore keep the conversation flowing.
I’ve now done over 110+ periscope streams and my confidence has grown immensely. I’m much better at it than I was in the beginning because I practiced relentlessly.
So whatever you lack confidence in, practice it relentlessly and be consistent.
The same principle applies to all other areas of your life. You have to practice non stop, relentlessly, whilst being OK with failure and making mistakes.
The more you practice:
- The more you learn about yourself.
- The better you get.
- The quicker you’ll reach your destination.
- The smarter you’ll become because of countless mistakes.
- The sharper your skills will become.
Don’t underestimate this point. Your confidence will suffer without it.
5. Never attach confidence to compliments
You know what happens when you attach your confidence to compliments? You lose your power. You’re at the mercy of the people who are complimenting you.
What happens If they decide to stop complimenting you, and making you “feel” good through praise? Your confidence takes a nose dive, then crashes and burns.
Real confidence starts at the core, and is built up from the core. So the simple solution is to not take praise or compliments to heart.
Take it lightly. When you get to caught up in either of the two, that’s when EGO starts to take over. And that’s a dangerous road that’s bound to lead you to self esteem issues.
I’ll finish off this post with a relevant quote as a reminder.
Don’t let people’s compliments go to your head and don’t let their criticisms go to your heart. – Unknown