Suicide is the last straw for people who have poor self confidence and self esteem. Especially teenagers who end up hanging themselves. This is all usually caused by bullying, or being mistreated by those close to us. Whether that be friends, family, and so on. Which is awful.
Statistically speaking, the beauty company Dove claims –
Only 4% of women worldwide consider themselves beautiful.
But that doesn’t mean you need therapy or counseling to build your self confidence
Throughout my high school days I was bullied just for being different. I was me.
I didn’t follow crowds, or play “follow the leader”. I didn’t kiss ass to those who were more so called “popular” than I was.
I didn’t take drugs, smoke weed, cigarettes, or any of that “popular” stuff kids do in schools these days. And for that reason (among many others) I was targeted.
Sometimes punched. Sometimes kicked. Pushed against a wall by force. Ganged up on by multiple bullies in a group. I went through it all.
- I was called ugly.
- I was told I’m an Alien.
- Told I wasn’t attractive.
- Told I was disgusting.
- Told I was stupid.
- Told I wouldn’t amount to much.
- Told I was worthless.
And basically, anything else that indicated I was a piece of shit or inferior. Regardless of all of that, I dealt with it.
I stood up for myself, and more importantly, I managed to get over it and build the self confidence I now have today. Which is 1000 times higher than it ever was.
You don’t need therapy to boost your self confidence
I hated school for multiple reasons. This was obviously one of them. And even though I dealt with all of that BS, I feel better than I’ve ever felt about myself. And I have enough confidence to do anything I desire to do or believe in.
I never needed any therapy to get over it. I never needed counseling to get over it.
I never needed to pay a professional to tell me why I lacked self confidence because I already knew why.
I never needed it, and neither do you. Regardless of what you might believe or what you’ve been told.
To build the self confidence you deserve, here’s what you need to do. Taken from my own experience…..
1. Change your vocabulary
A lie told often enough becomes the truth. – Vladimir Lenin
This is where you should start first. Why? Because your beliefs are the reason you LACK confidence in the first place.
When you’re told you’re worthless, ugly, pathetic, stupid, atrocious, and useless, you eventually believe it. So cleaning out those beliefs and replacing them with supportive beliefs is necessary. Here are a couple of statements you can work on….
- Instead of saying – I’m ugly, say – What can I do to feel better about myself?
- Instead of saying – I’m worthless, say – How can I surround myself with people who accept me for who I am?
- Instead of saying – I’m no good at anything, say – How can I improve my skills?
- Instead of saying – I’m not confident enough, say – What’s stopping me from boosting my self confidence?
- Instead of saying – I can’t do that, say – How can I do that?
What you tell yourself everyday will either hurt or build your self confidence. And what you choose to believe can make or break your self confidence as well. So change your words, and your level of self confidence will begin to change, too.
Related Post: 10 Positive Words You Should Be Using Everyday
2. Be willing to put in the work
Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong. – Unknown
Building your self confidence takes a lot of work. That’s why so few have enough confidence within themselves, their craft, or life in general.
Since 16 years old I’ve been working on my self confidence. Constantly practicing in the areas I lacked self confidence, and it’s paid off. And there’s still areas I need to work on, as we all do.
- If you lack confidence with girls or guys, then talk to girls/guys more often.
- If you’re not confident in your writing skills, write more often.
- If you’re not confident in social situations, then socialize more.
- If you’re not confident enough to post pictures on Instagram, post more pictures on Instagram.
ALL the people you look up to whether they’re family, friends, or celebrities, they’re confident because they put in the work and practiced hard at it. This doesn’t happen overnight, and neither does anything else. Except a one-night-stand.
3. Form a strong support group
The difference between going it alone, and getting there with the help of others, is a question of time. And the quality of the results. – Unknown
I’ve had friends come and go throughout my entire life. Some were helpful, many were not. The same goes for family, and all other types of support groups.
If you’re serious about building your self confidence, you need a strong support group. A group of people who:
- Believe in you.
- Trust you.
- Motivate you.
- Inspire you.
- Push you.
- Want you to succeed.
- Have your back 100%.
So how do you form a strong support group?
You probably have one already. You’re just taking it for granted. If not, then there’s this magical thing called the internet that makes it easier than ever to do it.
You can use social media, forums like Reddit, or websites like Meetup for local events.
I wrote a blog post in 2015 about wanting to start my own mastermind group. And a few months later I had a mastermind group in place. So it’s a lot easier than you think.
The people you surround yourself with will potentially improve or crush your self confidence. One way or another.
4. Be willing to make mistakes
This alone can make or break your self confidence. If you’re unwilling to make mistakes, you’ll do whatever it takes to avoid mistakes. Which will only crush you that much more when you DO make mistakes.
Mistakes can’t be avoided, no matter how hard we try to avoid them. Even computers aren’t perfect.
Be willing to make mistakes, but also be willing to learn quickly from those mistakes. Then you’ll have more confidence to tackle and overcome the challenge you’re facing the 2nd/3rd/4th time.
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. – Unknown