“Go fuck yourself” is a common message from an online troll.
I feel flattered when it happens, because of all the things they could be doing, they decide to tell me to “fuck” myself.
Or any other variation of what’s typical from online trolls these days.
Trolls are everywhere
If you’re a creator or businessman/woman like me, trolls are impossible to avoid.
It’s like school, you have to “deal with it” at some point of your life.
Escaping it is next to impossible. Because it’s too easy to tear others down when they’re confident enough to “share” themselves online.
Dealing with trolls is just a part of the job of promoting yourself on the internet.
But there’s a way to handle it
Before I get into that, there are “types” of trolls I wanna talk about.
Then we’ll get into how you can deal with it.
The 7 Types Of Online Trolls:
1. The insecure “bully”
Cyberbullying sounds ridiculous, but it’s far from it. Almost 100 kids a week (reported) deal with cyberbullying… In the city of Manchester.
When you look at the statistics in general, it’s even more terrifying.
- More than 1 in 3 young people have experienced cyber threats online.
- Over 25 percent of adolescents and teens have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or the Internet.
- Well over half of young people do not tell their parents when cyber bullying occurs.
And these are “only” reported incidents.
These kinds of trolls have no life and use other people’s pain as pleasure to deal with their miserable lives.
2. The “lost sheep” who plays it safe
Source: Herd Cartoon
The world is so politically correct and soft these days, that you have trolls dedicated to striking you down with their self-righteous bullshit.
Having an opinion online is like having a death wish.
Every time you speak your mind, there’s someone on the other end trying to kill you with their words and their poisonous resentment.
They’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in a box and stop you from saying anything they don’t agree with.
3. The “know it all”
I’ve had people argue with me about the dumbest shit I’ve heard.
Even if the wall is blue, these types of trolls will claim it’s “black” all in the name of “being right”.
It’s like they have a complex and don’t want you being the person who’s correct. They’d rather be the person who’s right, for no reason other than their own insecurities.
4. The “social justice” warrior
These are some of the worst, most foul creatures on earth. Self-righteous assholes who think they’re “too good” to bow-down to logic and objective facts.
That’s why they usually base EVERYTHING on how they feel, and their petty emotions. Even when the truth is staring them in the face.
It’s the reason feminism is so toxic, and how the word has lost its meaning.
Or how some guys end up in jail because of the bias towards women (even when it’s clear the guy did nothing).
In the words of Koko Hekmatyar: “I find the thought that I’m from the same species to be depressing.”
5. The arrogant asshole
You can call this group of trolls “elitists”.
They’ve laid out an imaginary red carpet only they can walk on. Putting themselves on a fake pedestal and belittling anyone who sees the world different.
These kinds of trolls have their head so far up their ass, they can’t see what’s in-front of them.
6. The “internet police”
I’ve seen these types on Quora, Twitter, and pretty much everywhere online.
They’re the ones who say “you can’t say this on Facebook” or – “you can’t have that kind of opinion”.
They’re like “fake” vigilantes. Trying to take the law into their own hands, even though they have no “real” authority or power to do anything about it.
Similar to SJW’S.
7. The argumentative prick with too much time on their hands
You see these kinds of people in Facebook Groups.
Or even with their own “dedicated” websites committed to attacking people they don’t like.
These trolls will argue for the sake of arguing, and they won’t back down. Even if their argument makes no sense or has no real purpose.
And in response: they’ll do something stupid (or drastic) to destroy your reputation or spread false rumors out of insecurity.
How To Deal With Online Trolls:
1. Kill em with sarcasm
I’m sarcastic by nature, so it’s easy for me. And I’m not the kind of person who’s crippled by negativity.
In fact – negativity only makes me more positive and driven. But witty sarcasm is always the best way to put a troll in their fucking place.
It’s enough to shut them up for good (especially on a public platform).
2. Kill em with the unexpected
Not long ago I told a troll: “I’m flattered you can think so highly of me. If you ever need to vent your frustrations, I’m here when you’re ready.”
The thing is: I’m not being sarcastic or snarky. I’m being deadly serious.
It’s obvious they’re having a shit day, or else why the hate and overly emotional reaction?
3. Kill em with kindness
“I appreciate the compliment” – again, I’m not being sarcastic. It’s genuine.
The fact that they’re willing to take the time and energy to “talk shit” when they could have been doing 1000 other things is a compliment.
And so – I thank them for it. Genuinely.
4. Expose the bastards
Sometimes young boys on Facebook send me rape threats, so I’ve started telling their mothers. pic.twitter.com/0Cbs81eXiE
— Alanah Pearce (@Charalanahzard) November 28, 2014
Trolls aren’t created equal. There are some fucking assholes on the internet who take things so far, that most people can’t deal with it.
If it makes sense, “exposing” these trolls and “putting them on blast” as Americans say is the best choice.
That way they’ll know not to F with you again.
And other trolls will keep that in mind before running their mouths.
5. You’ve got better things to do
Which is another way of saying: Ignore them and pay them no attention.
This is what I do most of the time. Because #1 – I don’t give a shit. And #2 – their negative opinions are none of my business.
I don’t have all day for nonsense like that, and neither should you.
6. Make “light” of the situation
More often than not, If I do respond instead of ignoring (meaning not reading the comments at all) I’ll use a meme as my response.
It’s fast, takes me no more than 10 seconds, and usually shuts down the conversation. Because they’re left dumbfounded and speechless.
7. Destroy them with success
What’s better than making something of yourself and becoming a better person in the process?
People love to talk shit all day long. But if you’re too busy being successful and doing bigger things in the world, your haters (trolls) won’t have anything left to say.
Success speaks louder than hate.
8. Shut em down (last resort)
This is a last resort and it’s something I’m not stupid enough to do…. 99% of the time.
There are times when people NEED to be put in their place. And shown the door so you can kick them out of it.
But it’s not worth it in the end. So I’d think long and hard before doing it.
I’m not “famous” by a large margin, but that’s how I deal with trolls. And you can do the same.