There’s no such thing as being shy. That’s just something you tell yourself to justify your reasons for not being confident enough. I used to tell my self the same thing.

And being an introvert is NO excuse for NOT communicating, socializing, or summoning up the courage to have a conversation with others. Especially strangers.

Being confident in social situations isn’t about introversion or extroversion, it’s a lot more than that.

And people like Lady Gaga, who seems like an extrovert to most, but is actually an introvert, prove you don’t have to be extroverted to be a confident communicator.

Want to become more confident while talking to people? Then follow these straightforward steps I’ve laid out for you.

How To Become More Confident While Talking To People.


1. Assume your beliefs are wrong

Before the truth can set you free, you need to recognize which false beliefs are holding you hostage. – Unknown

Everybody used to call me shy. Maybe they still do. But more importantly, I used to see myself as shy. And that’s why I wasn’t confident enough to socialize as often as I can today. My beliefs held me back.

The moment I crushed my beliefs and threw them into the wind, I gave myself permission to raise my self confidence and communicate more confidently.

Whatever your beliefs are, assume your beliefs are WRONG.

Assume being shy isn’t a problem. Assume being an introvert isn’t a problem. Assume enjoying solitude more than social situations isn’t a problem.

Assume being weird, different, the odd one out, unusual, or having unique interests isn’t a problem. Assume your personality, interests, and not being a likable, jolly, talkative person isn’t a problem.

Assume ALL of your beliefs about why you’re not confident when talking to people, or socializing aren’t a problem in the slightest. Why? Because they’ve been holding you back and you’ve been blind to that fact.

If they weren’t holding you back, you wouldn’t be dealing with this problem or seeking out a solution to solve it.

Related Post: 10 Dangerous Beliefs That Are Keeping You Unhappy


2. Throw yourself in the deep end, and swim with the sharks

The biggest mistakes you’ll ever make are the risks you were too scared to take. – Unknown

I’m not going to tell you bullshit like – meditate, breathe deeply, and think positive, because none of that is practical. It won’t help you build your self confidence. You have to take action to do that.

One time I went out with about 12 girls and 1 guy to a British restaurant. I only knew 1 person out of the whole group of 13 people. This was back when I was just starting to gain some self confidence.

I didn’t communicate as much as I would have liked to, but throwing myself in the deep end did make a big difference. It was those types of situations that built up my self confidence overtime, and made me more comfortable in social situations.

Instead of cowering in fear like a scared little puppy, jump right in the deep end and speak to people you don’t even know. 

When your friends invite their friends for a night out, hang out with them and socialize with new faces. If someone’s having an interesting conversation on the train, in an airport, or wherever, add to the conversation.

If there’s relevant events happening in your area that you’d be interested in, sign up and attend it. Get to know the people there. Or at least talk to a few who tickle your fancy.

Do whatever it takes to throw yourself in social situations, wherever and with whoever, and your confidence is absolutely guaranteed to grow. As long as you stay committed.


3. Ask open ended questions when socializing

Open Ended Question definition:

Questions that require more than a simple one word answer.

How will this help with your self confidence? Simple. When you ask open ended questions in a conversation, you get to find out more about the person you’re talking to by paying attention to their answers.

If you know a lot more about a person, you’ll agree that it’s easier to have a conversation with them. And it’s 10X easier to approach them even If you’re a little nervous. That’s why fans of musicians don’t hesitate when they see their idols in public.

So ask open ended questions when you’re socializing with new people, and you’ll notice how much more comfortable and confident you’ll be communicating with them.

Examples of Open Ended Questions:

  1. What do you like about sports?
  2. How do you feel about the job you do?
  3. What gets you out of bed every morning?
  4. Why do you listen to hip hop music?
  5. What got you started in your career?
  6. What’s your relationship like with your parents?

Of course, the questions have to be relevant to the situation, and so on. But any question that sparks conversation, as opposed to a “yes” or “no” answer will do the trick.

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